


of love and history

by ambiances



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 2000s, 40s, 50s, 60s, Avengers - Freeform, BAMF Peggy Carter, Baby Fic, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Modern Day, Non-aging peggy, Steggy - Freeform, Steggy Secret Santa, child fic, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9038708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiances/pseuds/ambiances
Summary: Peggy Carter stopped aging in 1944. She is still youthful and working with SHIELD from the shadows in 2012, when Captain America is found in the ice. But before she can fully enjoy being reunited with her love, she must remember the journey through the decades that brought her to this point.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas to my secret santa giftee, caleysteggy; enjoy this extravaganza of a writing piece! It jumps between modern day and and the decades before, and although it's not entirely in the 40s like I had hoped it would be (there's like two scenes of that?), my muse still made up for the displacement of setting, in one way or the other. And bruhs the amount of times I wrote loved/love at the end of this actually made me cry when it came to calculating the variety of words. Damn declarations of love. 
> 
> So hey, dudes, aill aboard the trash train to Steggyville!

  _ **❝I don't care what we had to do along the way, I'll love you across a million lifetimes.❞**_

* * *

 _ **December 25th, 2013**_  
_**London, England** _  
_**Trafalgar Square**_

As snow descended upon London, Peggy Carter was content. After nearly seventy years, her love, her Steve, was back in her arms, and she had never been more joyous.

With his arms gently wrapped around her waist, he rested his head on her shoulder, and she could practically feel the smile radiating off him.

"Merry Christmas, Pegs," he whispered, his soothing voice getting mixed in the crowd around them, "I promise this will be memorable."

Peggy smiled, thinking in the ways it could be. All the circumstances she conjured up only involved both of them happy and alive and in love; the only things she ever wanted them to be.

"Merry Christmas, Steve."

* * *

**_November 24th, 1946  
__New York City, USA  
Peggy Carter's Flat_**

It was all quite a bore, if Peggy was being honest with herself. All she could do was sit in meeting upon meeting, doing nothing but taking useless notes for useless plans and fetching retched coffee for retched people. In all sense of the word, Peggy was done.

After another uneventful day of filing at the SSR, all she wished was to go home, possibly take a nice shower, and just forget about everything. However, it seemed fate––or really, bloody Howard Stark––had different ideas.

"It's real important, Peg, and you need to come by––quick." He was talking so fast she was sure the telephone couldn't carry all he was saying to her ears. She sighed softly and sunk further into the loveseat in her living room, which she had only arrived at a few seconds before her telephone started blaring.

Peggy refrained from rolling her eyes. "Howard, everything is important to you when it involves money and power."

"But this isn't about that!" he tried to plead, "this is about something far, far different; something personal."

She snorted. "Howard Stark and _personal feelings?_ That'll truly be the day. Goodbye, How––"

"It's about Steve!" he all but shouted, and Peggy nearly dropped the phone, right there and then. She felt frozen, and something shattered in her all over again. Their last conversation, the promise of a date, a dance, still lingering in her head. She could still physically feel the way her heart was ripped apart, and hear their voices cracking across the radio.

"Peg? Peggy, you still there?" Howard's voice brought her back to reality again, before she could loose herself completely.

"Yes, I am, thank you," her voice shook, a slight trembling that threw the base of her power off course.

"Please, just come down. I'll send a car." With his final declaration, he hung up the phone, and Peggy slowly did the same. She aimlessly walked out her door, and within a few minutes she was inside an expansive limousine. However, all she could think of was _Steve, Steve, Steve._

* * *

**_September 22nd, 2013  
__Washington DC, USA  
The Triskelion_**

Peggy Carter was a legend. Even before one walked through SHIELD's doors, or any of its education facilities, everyone would know the grand tale of Peggy Carter's life. However, a small piece of her story people would constantly get confused on was how she was still alive and looking like she was 25.

The answer, of course, was magic. (At least that's what her great-niece Sharon would say.)

In reality, the answer was that something happened, nearly seventy years ago; something that changed the course of her life and affected her mind and heart in ways unimaginable. It was in the December of 1944 that Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers finally "went down."

(Sharon could never keep a straight face for that part of the story.)

"Honestly, Aunt Peg, it's not necessarily something you should be parading about," Sharon had said one day, arriving in her office with a coffee and tea in each hand, "not sure government officials would take it too seriously."

Peggy scoffed. "Please, Sharon, it's the truth, and it's simply what happened! I'm sure some middle-aged politicians can understand that." Her lips turned into a sly smirk. "Also, how can they blame me, going after a man looking like that."

Sharon chocked on her coffee and fell on the floor, clutching her stomach and laughing so hard tears spilled out of her eyes.

"Everything alright?" The door to office opened, and Steve stepped in, looking cautiously at Sharon's shaking form, curled up on the floor.

"Yes, yes," Peggy waved a dismissive hand, wiping a few tears from her own eyes, "just a story we always find hilarious."

Steve, bless him, was as oblivious as ever. "That funny, eh? Maybe you could tell it to me, one day."

Sharon curled into a tighter ball, and she was wheezing at that point, her eyes squinted into thin lines. Steve looked slightly concerned.

"Alright, Sharon; I know it's hilarious, but if you could please exit my office and die somewhere else, that would be much appreciated." Peggy got up from her chair, going around to be by Steve's side, hoping she would understand the message. Thankfully, she did, and managed to pause for a bit to get up and stumble out the door, before falling into another fit of laughter.

"That girl, I tell you," Peggy muttered, coming around to Steve and letting herself be wrapped in his arms

"She's not that bad," Steve murmured into her hair, "I think of worse people to know."

Peggy laughed softly. "White, bald, congress _men_."

Steve smiled, happy that she was happy, and bent down to kiss her. Peggy greedily pulled him towards her, subconsciously hiking her foot up the back of his leg. She was suddenly grateful that her office windows were on tinted mode, and all people could see from the outside was a pitch black wall.

A rough sound came from the back of Steve's throat, and Peggy had to reluctantly pull away, resting her forehead against his. "I'm afraid we'll have to continue this in our flat, where we have the blessing of privacy."

Steve responded with a shit-eating grin. "Didn't stop us in the winter of '44."

Before Peggy could respond, he swept her up and got her onto the office desk, capturing her lips with his once again.

* * *

**_December 18th, 1944  
__Near St. Petersberg, Russia  
Middle of Nowhere Forest_**

They fell onto the haystack-come-makeshift-bed, a tangle of limbs and exchanging intense waves of body heat (and some other bodily fluids). As they did their deed, flushed and moaning and high on cloud nine, both quickly concluded they had never experienced something so extremely pleasurable and intense––Steve came to the conclusion quite fast, actually.

While they laid in the aftermath, their flushed and naked bodies barely hidden under the thin white sheet they shared, Peggy felt something change inside her. She could only think of describing it as something like time being frozen, like something going still. She brushed it off as her body reacting to the aftermath of a session of intense pleasure, but in the back of her mind still felt a slight uneasiness at the unnaturally thrilling feeling.

To her left, Steve was sleeping quietly, his features soft and stomach rising with the slow rhythm of his breathing. Peggy knew that they would have to clean themselves up soon before the Commandos decided to walk in, and _then_  the teasing would never end. She decided a few minutes of quiet relaxation would be fine, before they had to face the reality of the nightmare they were living.

* * *

**_August 23rd, 1956  
__Washington DC, USA  
SHEILD Headquarters_**

"You're immortal," Howard declared out of the blue one day, waltzing into Peggy's office.

"I'm a what?" Peggy dropped the files she was holding, looking at Howard in unregistered shock.

"You are thirty-five," he stated, pointing an accusing finger at her, "you do not look thirty-five."

"Well I'm sorry if I age more graceful than most," she retorted, subconsciously tucking a strip of hair behind her ear.

"That's different, Peg!" he exclaimed, "sure, you can age gracefully, but you look like you've been forever twenty-five!"

At this confrontation, Peggy realized she did indeed look far too young to be thirty-five. She hadn't settled down yet, but she was hoping to do so within the next two years, but as the deadline she had set herself loomed closer and closer, she started to accept that having children may not be a possibility. With this strange accusation, however, it seemed she had to be in no real rush.

"It's like you've been frozen in time on the outside," Howard continued, "but on the inside, you've still aged a thousand years."

"So you have concluded I am immortal?" Peggy raised an eyebrow at his outlandish accusation.

"I have concluded you are immortal," Howard confirmed. Before Peggy could retort back, he grabbed her wrist and pulled out a syringe, ready to take a blood sample.

"Well I am most certainly not an ageless witch!" Peggy gasped, snatching her arm away from his grip.

"C'mon, Peg," his eyes turned dopey, and a glazed seriousness went over them, "I just need to run a few test, and then I'll drop the topic; just trust me."

"Trust you?" Peggy scoffed. "Like I trusted you back in '46, when you hid the last sample of _Steve's blood._ "

Howard flinched at the blow, but held his stance all the same. "Peg... _please_."

After fighting with herself for a few long moments, Peggy huffed and held out her arm. Grinning, Howard quickly and painlessly drew the blood, calling out his numerous thanks as he ran down to the labs to run his tests.

Peggy went back to her files, filling in the blanks and sorting the reports into various piles. Despite pushing herself over the edge and working well into the earliest bits of morning, when the sun peaked through in shards throughout the sky, she still felt the accusation turning over in her head. She couldn't be _ageless_ , God, that was impossible. But so again––she smiled softly to herself––so was Steve.

She froze.

_So was Steve._

And that's when Peggy Carter finally broke.

* * *

**_March 14th, 2013  
__Upper East Side, New York, USA  
Avengers Training Facility_**

"Steve?" Her voice cracked, and she was fighting back tears. In no less than one word, she was back to the place of her nightmares. She was aware of the sudden hush that had fallen over the crowd of agents, but she didn't care––she couldn't care, not with the situation at hand.

"Peg?" Steve responded, his voice sounding almost distant, like he was preoccupied with something.

She was sobbing; before anything could even begin, she was sobbing. It was that word he said to her, all those years ago, that had sent her in a downward spiral in life. Peggy had to bite on her lip hard, and keep her mouth shut, but she couldn't stay like that if she hoped to talk to him. The only problem with this––the talking, that was––was that every time she parted her lips by a fraction, a sob would shake its' way through her gut and out through her throat, causing her to slowly loose power over her emotions and thoughts.

"Steve, please, don't stop talking," Peggy pleaded. It was the only thing she could think of; if he were to die, for good this time, she wanted his last words to her to be every word.

"What do I––"

"Anything," she said quickly, already knowing what he was asking, "just tell me anything."

"I love you," he said simply. "I first loved you back in the war, when I was still a skinny kid from Brooklyn, and you were busy punching out soldiers. I loved you when you were immune to Howard's––or anyone's––lewd comments. I loved you when you used that damn lipstick of yours to get us in that HYDRA base with the Commandos. I loved you when you wore that red dress––I'm pretty sure you still have it, actually; I think I saw it in the closet, maybe at the Tower––"

"Steve," Peggy managed a small laugh through the tears, "I know I said anything, but I really was enjoying your declaration of love."

"Er, right." Peggy knew he was blushing, no doubt. "Well, I loved you when you wore that red dress, and despite all the men in that bar, you only looked at me. I loved you when I went through the ice; all I could think about was you, actually. _Peggy, Peggy, Peggy,_  it was all that went through my head. Even now, you know."

"I know." She smiled for the barest of seconds, before her face crumpled back into misery and she was crying all over again.

"I loved you when I came out of the ice and learned you were leading a global intelligence agency, just as powerful and commanding as I knew you would be one day. I loved you when I saw you and Sharon and Tony, treating them like the children you never got to have, despite them looking older than you. That's when I realized I couldn't live without you, and all I wanted to do was live with you forever and have a family of our own, a family we could grow old with.

"I love you, Peggy Carter, and I know this is horrible timing, but I've gotta ask, just so I can die relatively happy––" Peggy's breathing hitched "––will you marry me?"

Peggy didn't know how to properly respond, (she couldn't quite process it all), so she blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm pregnant."

If it wasn't silent in the control room before, it was now. Out of everyone listening––including Steve––it was Fury that spoke up. "Well Director Carter, I would never."

A few beats passed before Steve spoke up again. "So was that a yes?"

Peggy laughed. "Yes, yes, of course; I'll marry you Steve. And, you know, it was about time you asked."

"Yeah, well," he paused briefly, "tell James I love her."

The radio cracked out.

"Steve?" Peggy called, hoping that maybe some frequency was blocked, and that he'd be back on the air at any moment. "Steve, please."

When nothing was said, all she wanted to do was crumple on the floor, letting the misery overtake her. Her legs stayed strong, however, and this only made Peggy cry out louder in grief. On the inside she was done, she couldn't care what she did or what happened to her, but on the outside, her body stayed strong, going against every emotion she had.

 _James_ , he wanted to name the baby––which he so easily knew would be a girl––James.

_James Rogers._

* * *

**_July 17th, 1968  
__Malibu, California, USA  
Howard Stark's Malibu Mansion_**

Peggy adored Maria. She was sweet, doting, and patient––all the things Howard was not. She was also highly intelligent; not on Howard's level, of course, but in the ways Peggy was, with quick thinking and easy reflexes.

Maria was also one of the few people that knew of Peggy's... _situation_.

"Aren't you ever scared, Peggy?" she had asked over tea one day, "Aren't you nervous you're going to be found out?"

Peggy laughed lightly. "I can assure you, Maria, being _found out_  isn't on the top of my 'things to fear' list."

Over the past decade, Peggy had to wear heavy make-up to conceal her youth. She entertained the idea of faking her death, but ultimately decided that would be far too suspicious––Peggy Carter wouldn't die before she hit the fifty-age mark, it seemed impossible. So instead, fake faces and cosmetics were the only approach she could take. How long she could keep up the ruse, however, was oblivious to her.

No matter what happened, though, she would always have a friend in Howard––and now, it seemed, Maria.

"Well," Maria daintily set down her cup of tea, "I wish you all the best, Peggy, and I promise to help in any way you need me."

Peggy smiled. "Thank you, Maria; and I assure you, helping with the cosmetics and keeping up this whole ruse to begin with is help enough––and also dealing with Howard," she couldn't help but add.

"Oh, come on now, he's not that bad;" a wicked gleam came to her eyes; "especially in bed."

Peggy chocked on what seemed like thin air. "Please, I beg of you, never say that again."

Maria threw her head back and laughed that strange and melodic laugh every girl seemed to posses but Peggy. With her eyes bright and dancing, and the way she seemed so utterly _relaxed_  in her presence, Peggy couldn't help but miss this––simply hanging out with a friend, whom there were no mixed signals or tense secrets, just two people connecting over shared words and memories. She barely had moments like these, especially during and after the war; she was strange, she was different, and despite all odds, she would have to accept that she would never be considered normal.

So she smiled and laughed along.

* * *

**_January 8th, 2014  
__Manhattan, New York, USA  
Angela Martinelli Memorial Hospital_**

James Maria Rogers was quite loved. Her countless aunts and uncles––who happened to be Avengers and super spy extraordinaries––loved her with no restraints, and she just happened to be the spawn of what must have been the love story of the past two centuries. She would be cared for, and cherished despite all odds, and this began to concern Peggy.

"Anthony Edward Stark if you drop my daughter so help me," she threatened to a fumbling Tony, who's arms holding James were far too shaky for Peggy's liking. "Surely you know how to hold a child, considering you've most likely put so many women with it."

"Oh, burn!" Clint howled from where he was draped across a row of seats in the hospital room. "If I had a fly swatter I would hit you with it."

"Pretty sure I got one in my purse," Pepper said from where she was perched by Peggy's bed.

"I got a hand grenade, if you want to throw it," Natasha suggested, a wicked shine residing in her eyes.

"Alright guys," Steve said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck with the palm of his hand, "no need to wake the kid with your theatrics."

"Theatrics don't do justice to their behaviour," Peggy mumbled from the bed, "acting like children, all of them."

"Well I'm sorry, Aunt Peg, not all of us can be a hundred years old with a stick up our ass," Tony blurted, turning red in the face when he quickly realized what he had said. Peggy's facial expression responded in such.

"Ooh, she really wants that fly swatter now," Clint crowed, fully enjoying the melodrama playing before him.

"Yeah, okay, everyone get out." Steve took back his daughter while simultaneously ushering their friends out into the hospital corridors. Once the door was shut and an unnatural air of calm and peace settled over, he turned back to Peggy, grinning.

"You really did look like you needed that fly swatter," he said, coming around to her bedside and gently placing a sleeping James in her arms.

"Oh shush," she reprimanded, gladly taking back her daughter and settling back into the pillows. "It's not entirely Tony's fault, he does have Howard's brain, after all."

"I suppose so," Steve mumbled, gently getting into the bed with her.

As they settled in, the new parents looked at the newest addition in their family with nothing but love. 

"You know, I never quite understood when mothers would come gushing to me about how precious their child is, but after going through the process myself and bearing the results, I think I finally understand why," Peggy told Steve, gently brushing a finger down James' cheek.

"I love you, Peg, and I love this little thing we created." Steve brushed lips against Peggy's forehead, content with just letting them rest their. They looked down at James, enjoying what they knew would be one of the rare moment of silence they would now get. The journey would be strange, and complicated, and she wouldn't be surprised if one of them walked out on the other, having to take it to the gym to vent any frustrations. What she had learned, however, was that the journey mattered more, for it was what shaped a person, preparing them for whatever the future held. 

Life was simply about your history and all the love you put in your heart along the way. 

* * *

  ❝ ** _Of love and history, I know darling that you and I were meant to be.❞_**

**Author's Note:**

> I WAS SO HAPPY I WAS FINISHED I NEARLY FLIPPED OVER A TABLE OH MY. 
> 
> So yes, I made Angela Martinelli Memorial Hospital a thing because I felt terrible I didn't include her. In my books, no matter whether it is mentioned or not, Angie is a Broadway legend; the shiniest of shiny stars. 
> 
> I also hope you make it through the dark year known as 2016, because I'm personally praying I won't get taken out. And maybe I made your Christmas season a bit better? Yeah? (Yeah.)
> 
> Happy Christmas!


End file.
